How to Unwind after Family Counselling?

Posted in Counselling

How to Unwind after Family Counselling?


Relaxation can be easily accomplished, even after a difficult family counselling session. And online games are here to help, paired with several other activities. Concentrating on something different from your marriage or family life issues helps greatly when you find yourself on a rough patch in your existence. Furthermore, what we all know as “me time” is the main requirement when it comes to deepening the notions we have on our personality, state of mind and interpersonal relationships. However, let’s see what are the options one has in terms of “me time” after a difficult, soliciting counselling session.

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Effective Relationship Counselling – The Six Biggest Benefits

Posted in Counselling

Effective Relationship Counselling – The Six Biggest Benefits

Without any doubt, the most important part of any type of relationship counselling is actually accepting you indeed need counselling. The simple fact is that it’s perfectly common to live your life assuming that basically every kind of counselling exists for the majority of people, but not for you personally. This is exactly why in so many cases when professional counselling can be of true help to a person, a family or a couple, it’s pushed to one side as a superfluous or unnecessary thing.

This is nothing but a shame, as while there is no sense in denying that counselling services carry a certain level of stigma and taboo, the benefits they can have on the lives of the individuals using them are extraordinary and abundant. Seeking relationship counselling in Canterbury for example has the very real potential to not only keep away more serious issues further down the line, but also make many things about the relationship exponentially better. Naturally, that is all assuming the people in need of professional relationship counselling are ready and willing to admit they need help and seek it.

So for everybody who wants to take the plunge for the benefit of their relationships, themselves and their partners, the benefits do come thick and fast:

1 – Complete Transparency

First up, it is really not until you find yourself in a situation where you can bring absolutely anything you want out in the open that you begin to realise just how much you have got to say. There is nothing more satisfying, effective or in many instances productive than getting the kind of things off your chest you have been carrying around for many years, sometimes even decades. It is not until issues are out in the open that they could be addressed and discussed – chances are that without professional counselling, most such issues and problems will remain bottled up forever.

2 – Objective Advice

It is naturally strange on the surface to consider involving what is basically a complete stranger in the most important and intimate areas of your life. That said, there’s essentially nobody better qualified in the world than a completely objective and unbiased stranger to offer you the kind of advice you can be sure is the product of pure reasoning and logic. Both you and your partner will be in a position where tempers and emotions make it basically impossible to be unbiased – those with no social or emotional connection to either of you are in a much more favourable position to offer quality advice.

3 – Neutral Territory

You might also find that the second you and your partner indeed find yourselves in neutral territory, it will become so much easier to talk about what might be rather touchy and difficult subjects. When surrounded by your home comforts and your own ground, being able to see things from the required perspective could be difficult to say the least.

4 – Gaining New Perspectives

Speaking of brand new perspectives, involving a neutral third party could help bring out in the open potential resolutions and approaches the likes of which wouldn’t have been considered with no external intervention. It is incredible how quickly what seems to be a stalemate position can be turned into real progress, just as soon as the people involved begin to see the issues from a new perspective – ideally a perspective with a mutually favourable goal.

5 – More Resilient Bonds

Naturally, the single most important and obvious benefit that will come with professional relationship counselling across the board is the potential to create the strongest and most resilient bonds between two people and reignite the spark that might have been lost a long time ago. It is not as if even the most capable and experienced professional counsellor can guarantee that things will return to their origins, but in terms of helping strengthen bonds, the beneficial impact of the professional counsellor could be enormous.

6 – It Won’t Make Things Worse!

Last up, it is always worth realising that if you’re currently living in a situation where upset, disputes and generally clashing personalities are turning every day of yours into a miserable mess, how can seeking professional counselling make things in any way worse? The simple fact is that even in cases where no common ground is found and the efforts of the professional counsellor fall short, chances are it won’t make things any worse than they are. Simply put, there is absolutely nothing to lose so it just makes sense to give it a try!



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Teenage Alcoholism – Guidelines for Young Adults and Teens

Posted in Counselling

Teenage Alcoholism – Guidelines for Young Adults and Teens

There is no teenager in the United Kingdom that would like to enter one of the alcohol rehab centres in the future. In general, alcohol use behaviour and habits during teenage years rarely lead to serious alcohol problems in adult life. But at the same time, this should not mean it is not possible to develop seriously detrimental drinking habits as a young adult or to negatively affect your later life to follow.

Teenagers and parents alike should be realistic. It’s more than likely that alcohol will play a role in the big majority of teenage lives, but the fact is that this does not mean it has to necessarily be a terrifying or taboo subject. To the contrary in fact, as the more parents learn about alcohol use in general, the more likely they are to make sensible and informed decisions.

So with this in mind, here is a short overview of a few useful tips and guidelines for preventing alcohol problems as a teenager:

  1. First of all, it would seem there are instances in which it is fundamentally impossible to just say no, but this is in fact incredibly easy to do. The simple reason is that while you might expect a negative reaction and naturally assume you will not fit in if you refuse a drink, it’s extremely likely this won’t be the case at all. The truth is, there are probably many others within your friends who would also be happy to skip alcohol – they simply haven’t yet mustered the courage to do so.
  2. It is also very important to be as open and honest as possible with your friends, in order not to give them false expectations. For example, if you simply don’t like drinking alcohol at the pace your friends do, it is simply better to tell them rather than pretend you are just like them. The same is also true for the activities they choose and any recreational drugs they might bring into the equation. It is important to be yourself, be as open and honest as possible and never do unwise things just for the sake of fitting in.
  3. Contrary to what you might expect, often the best people in the world you can ever speak to about alcohol use are your parents. Nobody in the world will ever have your best interests at heart quite like them and when it comes to building real respect and trust, being open and honest on a subject like this has the potential to work wonders. You will always be able to rely on your parents to guide you and tell you what is best for you – the same cannot always be said about your friends.
  4. When you are a teenager, citing boredom as an excuse for drinking alcohol just doesn’t cut it. From arts to part-time jobs, music to sports and so on, there are many things you could be involved in that don’t revolve around alcohol. Anything active that you participate in will one day look great on your CV, while keeping you out of trouble at the same time.
  5. If your parents and you are as lenient as possible when it comes to house rules, the best way of dealing with that is to follow the rules to the letter. Nobody wins if you break them and disrespect your parents and in turn they become even stricter and harsher with you.
  6. It could be difficult to believe, but it is quite likely many things you have heard about alcohol and drugs online and from your friends is 100% misleading and inaccurate. Making the right decision for yourself will be only ever possible if you are educated on the subject in question. This is precisely why it could be quite beneficial to read about alcohol in general, in order to be aware of what exactly it is you deal with.
  7. Instead of simply following the trend and becoming one of the herd, why not set an example for your friends and become their role model? This could sound like you will need to go entirely against the current, but eventually the time will come when you will be seen as an inspiring and outstanding leader that makes their own decisions.
  8. Last but not least, if you are aware that you or anyone else has a true problem with alcohol use, it’s your responsibility to speak out. By keeping it a secret you are not protecting anyone – nor are you doing yourself any good if you believe your drinking habits are getting out of hand. Nowadays there are so many avenues to explore when you need help – from your family to professional counselors – don’t hesitate to turn to them when necessary.
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6 Tips on Choosing the Right Counsellor for You

Posted in Counselling

6 Tips on Choosing the Right Counsellor for You

Having made the decision to approach the experts at for any given problem, chances are it’s a process you’d like to go through one time and not more. Realising you have an issue that needs professional assistance in the first place is difficult enough – being forced to start from scratch is almost unthinkable. However, it is a reality many have to deal with, mainly because they didn’t for some reason make the best decision in the first place. The large majority of professional counsellors up and down the United Kingdom might be doing an extraordinary job, but this does not mean taking things for granted is going to be a good idea.

On a positive note, it’s technically easy to make sure the counsellor you choose in the first place really is the most suitable counsellor for you. It is largely a case of approaching the whole process in a proactive manner and realising the importance of getting it right the first time. So with all this in mind, here is a short overview of a few essential tips for making sure you choose only the most appropriate and capable counsellor according to your needs:

1 – Consider Specialism and Background

First of all, it is crucial to remember at all times that not all professional counsellors in business have the same specialism and background. While some might be leaders in the field of chronic anxiety or workplace issues, others may focus on sex addiction counselling. Given the fact that you are seeking a counsellor with a certain need in mind, it makes sense to make sure that their own specialism and background matches your requirements. Fail to do so and you can see yourself stuck with a therapist who might excel in a specific area, but underperforms in yours.

2 – Check Their Experience

Another very important factor to think about is that of experience – as in how long exactly it is they have been in business doing what they do. This is exactly the kind of industry in which experience will breed competence and a higher level of expertise. It is one thing for a promising new counsellor to come fresh from university with all the potential, education and enthusiasm in the world. However, without practical knowledge and experience, there is practically no way of making sure how well they will perform when put to the task. The more time the counsellor has spent in business and assisting clients like you, the more knowledge and experience they have had dealing with issues like yours.

3 – Recommendations and Feedback

Just as is the case in most other business areas these days, you will be able to easily find plenty of recommendations and feedback regarding any counselling service you are thinking about. More often than not, people who have been dissatisfied and satisfied alike with the provided services will not hesitate to get online and share their opinions with the rest of the world. All you will need to do is do a quick web search for the counsellor you are considering, in order to see what others are saying about them. If no information is available, you can also ask the counsellor directly.

4 – Outstanding Professionalism

From the counsellor’s website to the way they deal with clients on the phone to the building in which they operate to the additional staff and so on, you will not and cannot have the required trust and faith in them if they don’t present themselves as pure professionals. If you don’t really have total faith in them from the very start, chances are you will be wasting your time going any further.

5 – Be Thoroughly Selective

Last but not least, it is worth remembering at all times that there are hundreds of quality service providers on the market, so making a compromise in any way or settling for the second-best makes absolutely no sense at all. As such, it’s highly advisable to be as picky and selective as you wish to be, in order to make sure you really choose the best possible counsellor for you. Whatever it might be that you aren’t convinced about – you are entirely within your rights as a client to walk away and look elsewhere.


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For better or for worse…

Posted in Counselling, Featured

For better or for worse…

In sickness and in health, we swore to stick together!

There comes a time in any marriage when things might get tough and partners can drift apart, either due to the stress and troubles of every day life or because of the boredom and monotony cast upon their relationship, but nothing must stand in the way of two parents who once loved each other to give it another try and attempt to mend some fences in their personal life. I may not be a big fan of marriage counselling, but I know one thing for sure: specialists know what they are doing! I would bet my money on that, if I were a gambling fan of course. But, no matter how you put it, there are plenty of reasons that push people towards a temporary breakup and even a divorce and this would be a shame, especially if there are kids involved. I cannot say that I and my wife ever went through such a tumultuous state or that we had major fights in our long history together, but there have been some arguments over time. There always are, believe me! If someone told you that he or she is in a happy marriage or union for over 20 or even 40 years and there never was a moment when their opinions did not converge, then I for one would seriously question whether to trust that person again.


It’s in the human nature to make mistakes. It is written in our biological code to explore new horizons and question the things we are told. I am not implying that it is socially acceptable or moral for people to be unfaithful to their spouses, but rather that arguments and disappointments can arise from far meaningless actions like the small decisions we take throughout the day. For us, it was all love and joy in the beginning, for a while of course… we had no problems or need of couples therapy the first few years after we had met and things seemed bizarrely perfect at times. However, we began to encounter difficulties in communicating once our first child was due. Believe it or not, the pregnancy stage was not the major problem in our case. I was so filled with joy and an unbelievable excitement to be a father that I could put up with every need or craving my dear wife had. Yeah, she wanted to eat in the middle of the night or started to feel blue out of a sudden, but who can really understand women and their moods? I was on the verge of fulfilling one of my life-long dreams and there was no need for a family therapist then, or so I thought!


The first moments when we began having troubles in our marriage came after the baby was born. We had a gorgeous little girl and both felt pretty proud of our accomplishment. However, something changed about my wife. Her entire behavior, the way she spoke to me and acted around the child were different. I soon realized that I might be losing the woman I loved. It was one year later, after taking her to see a relationship therapist, when I truly understood what was going on.


Trying to get therapy for the first time can be a tough choice

We both needed a lot of courage to take this step forward


Searching for the light at the end of the tunnel can be a bold thing to do. With so many persons getting lost along the way, it has become a daunting and actually scary task to tackle some of the deep rooted issues of relationships. I for one can tell you that I was never a fan of marriage counseling. It wasn’t because I resented the idea or concept behind it, but rather due to the fact that I did not fully see its usage and results in real life. So, obviously, I rejected the thought of couples therapy from the get-go. After all, we were married and had a young daughter together, what could go wrong? I changed my mind one cold autumn evening when we went to visit my parents. They may not be role models for family life, but like all elderly persons, there is a wisdom and depth to their words that touched me that evening. After seeing how the two of us had drifted apart and the coldness of your conversations, they immediately took us aside and sat us down for a serious conversation. Separately! That was the brilliance in their plan. My mother told my wife about the hardships that she would face in the years to come if she were to remain a single mom and my father pulled me over and pointed out how much I would miss out on, if I could only see my girl a couple of hours a week. It worked! We decided that she would go first to a therapist to discuss the challenges of her new existence and role as a mother and that I would soon follow with the same counsellor to begin some couple sessions.


Until death do us part!

Things may change, but our love and respect must stay the same


Life transitions, that what how our problem was called. Apparently, we were both under a lot of stress from the baby entering our lives and still had not figured out a way of properly communicating between one another again. Our therapist said that we were so concerned about the well being of the girl that we simply forgot to love and care for each other. Interesting words coming from a man! But, then again, I guess you have to be a profound kind of man to follow a career in such a philosophic and deep thinking field of activity.


We kept seeing the same family therapist for years and years and took advantage of the professional advice he gave us every time a tough decision lay ahead. With so much moving around and uncertainties as to where we would be in ten years time, for instance, it only seemed logical to get an outside opinion. Reaching balance in our marriage was not tough, but keeping it sure was a challenge. After seeing the relationship therapist a couple of times, I noticed an improvement in the our daily functions and a more relaxed view on the parenting issues, meaning that there were fewer confrontations and dilemmas regarding the kid and more us-time, if you get what I mean. We never had intimacy issues or infidelity problems, but simple contradictions on how to raise the little one, for instance, could have seriously put a dent in our relationship, had it not been for my parent’s lesson and the decision we took to seek out professional guidance. A decision which I have not regretted once to this day!

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